Running to success, believe in yourself
This is a photo of me running on Sheepcote Valley in Brighton for the first time since beating advanced cancer.
I dreamt about this moment for a whole year
Every day I imagined the feeling of freedom and the intense joy of being alive.
And I finally did it, I felt it all!
I believed in myself
You can believe in yourself
Here’s how I beat advanced cancer
Step 1
With only a 50% chance of chemotherapy shrinking the huge tumour inside me, all I could do was try to survive.
Once the shock of the diagnosis wore off I had one main thought, “how do I shrink this tumour?”
I knew I needed to be the other 50% of the healing. What a scary thought .
I’d tried to have a positive mindset with a mindful approach in my life but right then this just didn’t seem possible or even enough. I realised that being able to catch myself in negative thought cycles was useful, but where were the positive thoughts to replace them going to come from?
I needed something to really believe in
A couple of weeks later I joined an online meditation and breathing workshop for cancer patients, which I’d begrudgingly accepted I was, provided by Macmillan and led by the very wonderful Richard Husseiny.
We breathed into our energy centres and joined them up to create coherence in our bodies. I cried when we got to the heart centre, cried for myself and for all the other cancer sufferers there.
I had just taken Step 1, acknowledge
Step 1 – Acknowledge
Step 2
Acknowledging that I was sick and that I belonged with other sick people on the meditation and breathing workshop was huge for me.
The on screen image of myself during the workshops repulsed and distressed me, but I kept showing up each week.
I realised that this acknowledgement was enabling me to move forward and take action to help myself
Richard, the workshop tutor, said that the more we repeated the breathing and meditation, the more benefit we would feel. So I started doing exactly what we did in the class each morning as soon as I awoke.
I would feel different every day. Some days I could hardly wake up, never mind finding my energy fields! I worked hard and I stuck with it. Meditation and breathing each morning gave me a purpose. I even started to enjoy it.
I realised I had taken Step 2 , start positive habits.
Step 2 – Positive habits
Step 3
Here I was, very sick with an advanced diagnosis, the chemotherapy giving me all kinds of horrible side effects, but I still knew that my one purpose was to survive. I knew that my job was to be the other 50% of the healing and to shrink my tumour. I had acknowledged that I was sick and started a breathing a meditation weekly workshop and daily habit.
Then at one of the workshops a wonderful person said that they had shrunk their tumour using breathing and meditation. They were just recovering from an operation to remove the last bits and were all clear. The message was positive, we could do this too.
Wow! This can be done, I thought
But rather than being the inspiration I needed, this news sent me into a massive tailspin. Other people could do this so I should be able to. I have to survive. I must do this.
Should. Must. Have to.
The pressure was huge. The language I was using to myself was debilitating me, at a time when I wanted to be taking action. I wanted more help.
I recalled someone mentioning sound healing and wondered if it could help. Enter the very wonderful Matt Hopwood from Brighton Sound Therapy
I has just taken Step 3, share your experience.
Step 3 – Share your experience
Step 4
Sound therapy was a game changer. At a time when I was vulnerable Matt held a safe space for me to relax in.
We began by setting an intention for the session, for me it was to be fit and healthy again
As I was immersed in the sounds I felt enriched and each time I emerged with a glow and sense of balance within me. I discovered that setting a positive intention each day gave me something to aim for and to believe could happen.
I found a meditation on YouTube with The Mindful Movement to guide me towards my goal. My language became more positive and I started to feel that I would be healthy again.
This was Step 4, set an intention
Step 4 – Set an intention
Step 5
When I first got my diagnosis I knew I had to find something to believe in if I was going to survive.
I had acknowledged where I was, started positive habits, shared with others and set intentions for my future. I was grateful for all the love and support I received. As I continued to meditate, attend sound therapy and use positive language I felt a shift.
I began to really believe that I would be fit and healthy again
The intention I set each day was that I will run on Sheepcote Valley feeling the sun on my face and the warm breeze as I move towards the glittering sea, smiling and feeling intense joy.
Every day for a year I pictured this. I imagined how it would feel.
I believed in myself
And I did it! I am a runner again, savouring the sunlight and the breeze. Feeling the joy of being alive!
Step 5 Believe in yourself
Gratitude and Love
My teachers, Richard, Sarah and Matthew helped me to realise the benefits of feeling and offer gratitude and love.
Now I give overflowing gratitude and love to these people:
Neil Murfin
Matthew Hopwood at Brighton Sound
Sarah Raymond at The Mindful Movement
…… oh, and Me, gratitude and love to myself!
Thank you all for giving me a new life.
Believe in yourself